Friday, March 3, 2017

Astros Remember They Suck: Sunday, August 3rd, 1969


CHI 3, SD 1  W-Jenkins 13-7 L-Kirby 2-13  HR-Smith(7)

MON 3, HOU 2  W-Jaster 7-8 L-Dierker 11-10  S-Face(13)  Jaster 10 K's.

MON 8, HOU 3  W-Robertson 9-10 L-Billingham 2-10

NY 1, ATL 0  W-Seaver 10-9 L-P.Niekro 12-9  HR-Jones(6)

PHI 6, CIN 3  W-Wise 8-9 L-Merritt 7-12  HR-A.Johnson(10) Allen(21)

SF 5, PIT 4 (11inns)  W-Marichal 12-9 L-Dal Canton 5-5  S-Linzy(15)  HR-Hart(7)

STL 15, LA 0  W-Gibson 15-3 L-Drysdale 2-9  S-Giusti(1)  HR-Torre(9) Javier 2(6)  Javier 4 runs, 4 rbi.

Actor Robert Redford with a hideous space alien at the Astros game.
The Astros, as noted previously on this blog, made a heroic 23-4 run to finally fight and claw and battle their way to .500, whereupon they immediately remembered that they are the Astros, and resumed sucking by dropping both ends of a doubleheader to the Expos. Larry Dierker nursed a 2-0 lead through most of the opener before Ron Fairly undid him with a clutch triple. The nightcap was less dramatic. "We suck," opined Houston first sacker Curt Blefary after the dual loss. "What's too painful to remember," he continued, warbling, "we simply choose to forget." Stoppit, Curt! You'll have everyone in tears. "The way we werrrrrre..." CURT! "Sorry."

"I wonder now. Who am I? Why am I here?"
The Reds got a homer from flyhawk Alex Johnson in a losing cause at Connie Mack Stadium on Sunday, but several other Rhinelanders haven't hit one in donkey's years. The last HR for a selection of players: Perez July 24th, Rose July 19th, May July 5th, Bench June 28th. Meanwhile, Quaker slugger Rich Allen has slowly but steadily moved up into the league leaders with 21 blasts.  This didn't stop Phillie management from shit-canning skipper Bob Skinner and replacing him with George Myatt, also known as George the Amazing Stupefied Geezer. Expect the Phils to charge to the flag under his tutelage.

At Shea Stadium, Tom Seaver did what Tom Seaver has to do to win, and shut out the Braves 1-0. A Cleon Jones homer made the difference. 

He's a cereal killer.
And finally, Julian Javier downed three entire boxes of Wheaties before taking the field and swatting 4 hits, including 2 dingers, scoring 4 runs and driving in 4 as the Redbirds destroyed the Dodgers 15-0.  "We don't need any freaks from la-la land coming here to the Midwest with their coke spoons and bling," offered Dave Giusti, who collected the garbage save as reader William seethed in his box seat.
Ask not for whom the garbage save truck rolls; it rolls for thee.

1 comment:

William Sagle said...

Garbage Saves Do Not Count!!!!!!!

Love cereal box card of Julie!