Chico Ruiz Offers Language Lessons: Monday, April 28th, 1969

Scores!

CHI 7, PHI 5 W-Hands 4-1 L-Wilson 1-2 S-Regan(5) HR-Santo(5) Joseph(1)

STL 2, PIT 1 (12inns) W-Hoerner 2-0 L-Dal Canton 1-1 

ATL 5, HOU 0 W-Reed 1-2 L-LeMaster 2-3 HR-T.Aaron(2)

LA 3, SD 2 W-Moeller 3-1 L-Roberts 1-3 S-Mikkelsen(4) HR-Colbert(2)

SF 3, CIN 2 W-McCormick 3-1 L-Merritt 1-3 S-Linzy(1) Reds turn 6 DPs!

He tomahawked it.

Since moving Ron Santo to clean-up instead of the still-homerless Ernie Banks, the Cubs have been scoring much better. They won a see-saw game against the plummeting Phils when Billy Wilson came on to cough up three late runs. Ric "Chief" Joseph, utility man and leader of the Nez Perce, launched a 3-run jack for the Quakers, but all in vain.

I am too lazy to go back through and find out, but I'd love to know how many games the Cardinals have won while scoring three or fewer runs. It's a bunch, I'm certain. The Redbirds continue to knock everybody else off the feeder, rising to 4-0 against the Buccos.

Ron Reed kicks and deals.

Ron Reed credits his first win of the season to sinking his free throws and executing the pick and roll. Teammate Tommie Aaron has already doubled his actual 1969 homer output.  He urges big brother Henry to "watch and learn!"

Your Goddess, looking an awful lot like actress Lou Doillon, declares her impartiality.

When the Padres had the nerve to show some life against the Dodgers, Walter Alston looked up from perusing the rest home's lunch menu and summoned Jim Brewer. However, Mr. Brewer allowed the bases to become loaded with Men of God and so Walter had to reluctantly go to Pete Mikkelsen again. The exhausted Mr. Mikkelsen promptly fanned an overmatched Jerry DaVanon to seal it for the Tinseltown nine as your impartial Goddess tore up her program and sighed.

Exchanging pleasantries and rotting on the bench are Chico's specialties!

In San Francisco, the Reds turned an incredible 6 double plays in 8 innings, but still lost to the Gints, 3-2. Mike McCormick staked himself to a 2-0 lead early with a 2-run triple. The Giants added a seemingly meaningless run in the 8th off of Clay Carroll, but needed it when the Reds rallied in the 9th. A 2-run single by Tony Perez made it 3-2 and chased Mr. McCormick, who went to rearrange his spice rack as Frank "Old Kerosene" Linzy came on to face pinch hitter Chico Ruiz, batting for Woody Woodward. Plate umpire "Hell" Enkeller called Ruiz out on a pitch that appeared to be well out of the zone to end the game. Chico went cuckoo and was ceremonially tossed, even though the contest had ended. Speaking to reporters after the game, he assured them that "pendejo" is Spanish for "my friend" and that he had no idea why he was ejected. Chico F***king Ruiz, you rascal!