We Have A Winner!

Ermagerd! We have a winner! As those few haggard and heavily medicated souls who keep tabs on my replays know, the last position player--on a roster from opening day--to not have a hit wins the coveted (?) Paul Schaal Award. The award is so named because, in my very first Cadaco All-Star Baseball spinner league, Paul Schaal was that guy. Don't be that guy! (But someone always is. Someone always must be!)

On July 1st, 1956, the New York Giants played the Pittsburgh Pirates at Forbes Field. The race for the PSA was down to two contestants: George Wilson of NY and Gino Cimoli of Brooklyn. As the Giants pounded Pirate pitching for four home runs (Mays 16, White 13, Thompson 13, Rhodes 3) and sprinted out to a big lead behind their ace Johnny Antonelli, the rest of the story was that NY outfielders were getting scarce. Brandt batted once before getting injured for 6 games. Then Mueller got tossed by plate umpire "Hell" Enkeller for beefing about a called third strike. With Dusty Rhodes already in the game in place of Brandt, the choice was between Lennon and Wilson. Seeing that Lennon was still in bed with Yoko, Giants skipper Bill Rigney gave the nod to George Wilson. His second trip to the plate, with two runners on, George muscled a long drive to the far depths of spacious Forbes Field. He didn't stop until he was standing on third base with a triple and two rbi! You can see the look of wild excitement on his face:

The fact that George never hit a triple in his entire--albeit brief and unheralded--career does not diminish his moment of glory! He got his hit off of the Orsino Board, the potential inside the park HR. "If only I hadn't stopped for sandwiches," lamented George, "I might have gone all the way!"

And so, the Paul Schaal Award for 1956 NL goes to Gino "Not Ready For Prime Time" Cimoli, a raw kid who has only had two official at bats so far, draped in failure though they may have been.  Congratulations, Gino! Kind of.

What A Game ! ! ! : Thursday, September 18th, 1969

Scores

CHI 3, PHI 0  W-Selma 11-14 L-Wise 11-15  Selma 11 K's.

NY 4, MON 3  W-Taylor 7-3 L-Waslewski 4-3  S-McGraw(24)  HR-Clendenon 2(24) Staub(30)

STL 6, PIT 3  W-Giusti 4-4 L-Blass 15-8  S-Hoerner(14)  HR-Torre(12)

LA 3, ATL 1  W-Singer 22-8 L-P.Niekro 15-13  HR-Kosco(16)  

CIN 11, SD 3  W-Maloney 19-10  L-J.Niekro 9-14  HR-Tolan(18)

SF 10, HOU 9 (11inns)  W-Herbel 6-3 L-Guinn 0-2  HR-Menke(8) Bonds(23) Hunt(2)  Fuentes 2-out walk-off single.


Two weeks and 68 games to go.

"Why can't you just trust me?!?"

This is where it gets good, ball fans! The Giants faced the Astros at Candlestick, needing a win to keep pace with the Dodgers. The Astros stink but can be dangerous in any given game. Add to that, the Giants had to send the sketchy Mr. Bolin to the hill; despite his 15-10 record, he isn't very reliable. The Astros countered with bullpen reclamation project Wade Blasingame.

"So what if it landed in the front row. I didn't want to hit Uecker!"

Bolin went straight out there and coughed up three singles, punctuated with an error by Ron Hunt. Two runs came across, and only a double play saved the inning for Bob. In the bottom of the first, the fumble-fingered Mister Hunt, known more for being hit with baseballs than for hitting them out of the park, belted his 2nd dinger to cut the score to 2-1. But, behold! Bolin settled down, and the Giants tallied 3 in the 4th and 2 more in the 6th to take a commanding 6-2 advantage. 

The immortal Julio Gotay.

Lookin' good for San Francisco, right? Wrong. Mr. Bolin, despite having advanced to a "C", suddenly remembered who he is after retiring the first two hitters of the 7th. He walked Menke, then hit Rader to put two on. Blefary singled Menke in. Then slump-encrusted Jim Wynn, demoted to the 7th spot in the order, cued one off the end of the bat and busted it down the line. "Safe!" screamed arbiter I.C.Poorlee, because it sounded that way. Rader scored to make it 6-4, but Wynn came up lame and had to depart. At least he got his first rbi of the month. He's day to day. Johnny "Johnny Angel" Edwards greeted new pitcher Ron Bryant, brought in to face the lefty, with a single to make it 6-5, and pinch hitter Julio Gotay knocked in the tying run off of Frank Linzy, although Edwards was gunned down at third to finally end the frame. 6-6!

Drunk with success?

It stayed that way until the top of the ninth when, with Don McMahon on the mound, Doug Rader led off with a single. Curt Blefary doubled, and Tommy Davis, who had replaced Wynn, singled Rader in to make it 7-6 as the home crowd groaned. Davis, giddy with success, took off for second, but was cut down by Dick Dietz, and the rally fizzled from there. Nonetheless, the Astros handed Fred Gladding a lead to protect in the bottom of the 9th.

Is this a confident face, or what?

Ron Hunt, swinging for the fences, struck out, reminding himself to choke up and smack singles. The canny veteran Willie Mays rose to the occasion and hit a mighty fly to left center, which fell and bounced off the fence as Willie motored into third with one out! Reluctant to put the winning run on intentionally, Astro skipper Harry Walker had Gladding pitch to Willie McCovey, who grounded to third. There was nothing Mays could do but get back to the bag and watch McCovey be thrown out for the second out. The air seemed to go out of the crowd. Jim Ray Hart was the last hope for San Franciso. He lined a clean single to center, scoring Mays and causing the home crowd to go wild. 7-7! Dick Dietz struck out, and extra innings (again!) were on tap in San Fran.

"Watch this!"

The joy was short-lived when an exhausted Mr. McMahon--done in not only from all the extra innings lately, but also from handing out sweepstakes prizes--gave up a two-run bomb to Denis Menke in the top of the 10th to give Houston a 9-7 lead. The crowd gnashed their teeth and rent their garments and called McMahon unkind names as Menke circled the sacks. Gladding, given a second chance to close it out, gave up a pinch single to Tito Fuentes to lead off the bottom of the 10th, but he was erased on a double play ball by fellow pinch hitter Bobby "Call me Melissa" Etheridge. Dark clouds blocked the sun as the Giants seemed done. But wait! Clyde King sent up a third straight pinch hitter, little Don Mason, who ripped a double! Up stepped Bobby Bonds, 0-for-5, all strikeouts. Harry Walker stroked his chin and eyed Ron Hunt, an on-base machine, on deck, and decided not to walk the flailing Mr. Bonds and put the tying run on base with Mays and McCovey lurking behind Hunt. BAM! Bonds launched a Gladding pitch into the left field stands and the fans lost their minds! 9-9! Hunt then made the third out, naturally, as Walker did violence to the Gatorade dispenser. 

"I'm too sexy for my shirt...so sexy that it hurts..."

Ron "Herbal Essence" Herbel, the last man in the Giants bullpen, was made to cut short his totally organic experience and enter the game in the top of the 11th. He disposed of Hector Torres, Marty Martinez and Joe Morgan in order. On came Skip Guinn for the Astros, the man with an e.r.a. above 12, the highest by far in the entire league. Hey, there just wasn't anyone else! He managed to retire Mays, but slap-hitter Willie McCovey dinked a single and was pinch run for by kid flyhawk Dave Marshall. Jim Ray Hart, the hero of the 9th inning, stepped up and the crowd went bananas. Come on, Jim! But he fanned, and everybody moaned. Last chance--Dick Dietz. He took pitch after pitch, fouled off a few, and finally worked a walk, putting runners on first and second for Tito Fuentes, who had stayed in the game at third. Guinn delivered. Fuentes swung and lofted a dying quail into left field. Marshall steamed around third and headed for home, arms and legs pumping as the crowd held its breath and left fielder Marty Martinez scooped up the ball and fired it home. In came the ball. In came Dave Marshall. Plate umpire "Hell" Enkeller leaned forward to get a good look and called Marshall....SAFE! Astro catcher Johnny Edwards spun on his heel in frustration and stared heavenward as the Giants poured out of the dugout to mob Marshall and Fuentes. 10-9 Giants in eleven innings! What a game. The Giants now welcome L.A. into Candlestick for a three game weekend series. Hang on to your hats!

16 HR for Montreal in 2 months, 8 for the Mets in 3.

In other news, Andy Kosco's 3-run jack in the bottom of the first inning sunk Phil Niekro and the Braves, as Bill Singer made it stand up the rest of the way. In Montreal, Donn Clendenon suddenly remembered how to hit home runs, and socked two of them, including a 2-run 9th inning heartbreaker. Nonetheless, a Cardinal victory over the Pirates mathematically eliminated the Mets. One reason I chose to play '69 NL was to see whether I could make them win it again; now I have my answer, a resounding "No!" I don't think anybody could. It was truly a miracle that such a light-hitting crew won a hundred games. But who cares about that? Bring on Dodgers-Giants!

 

A Pitching Gem & A Beanball Brawl! : Thursday, July 3rd, 1969

Scores!

CHI 8, MON 4  W-Jenkins 11-4 L-Robertson 7-7  HR-Williams(7) Hickman(17)

STL 1, NY 0 (11)  W-Hoerner 6-5 L-McGraw 3-6  HR-Flood(3) walk-off.

LA 4, CIN 3  W-Mikkelsen 4-2 L-Granger 6-3  HR-Perez(14)

SF 12, ATL 0  W-Perry 12-4 L-Pappas 8-4  HR-Mays(4) Mays 4 runs, 4 rbi.

"I wonder who threw Schoendienst through the wall..."

What a match-up! Future HOFers Nolan Ryan and Bob Gibson head to head, albeit with a very young Ryan. Someone forgot to tell Noley that he wasn't ready for prime time, because the two pitchers matched zeroes for ten innings at Busch Stadium, each allowing just 4 hits, and each fanning 10. The Mets had several chances, but just could never get the big hit. (Donn Clendenon, who tore up the league for the Expos, has yet to club an extra base hit or drive in a run for the Mets.) The Cardinals had a few mild opportunities too, but failed. In the bottom of the 10th, Red Schoendienst removed Gibson for a pinch hitter. How the Redbird skipper ended up embedded in the clubhouse wall is a mystery. When asked, Gibby opined, "Aw shucks, who knows?" Pinch hitter Rocky Johnson made an out and the game went to the 11th with Joe Hoerner on the mound, eating his Christmas pie. Mets manager Gil Hodges decided he wasn't going to let this kid Ryan possibly lose such a magnificent effort, so he took him out and sent up a pinch hitter.  Nothing came of it. Enter Tug Mcgraw in the bottom of the 11th. He fanned Byron Browne, who had entered the game when Lou Brock goofed up his whatchamacallit, and then faced Curt Flood. Flood jacked a homer and just like that it was all over. "Man, I'm exhausted!" sighed Hoerner upon receiving the victory for his one inning of work. Now the Cards await the arrival of the Cubs for a 4-game set.  

Everything is sunny for the Cubs these days!

Speaking of the Cubbies, they dispatched the Expos for the fourth day in a row, getting a homer--his first in nearly a month--from Billy Williams and another from the suddenly fearsome Jim Hickman. This kept the baby bears tied with the Cardinals atop the NL east. Despite the loss, the 'Spos completed a very good (for a new expansion team) first half, going 35-46. After starting 1-9, that's nothing to sneeze at.  

If your lovin' is hot and your cookin' ain't greasy....

Poor Braves. After logging the league's best mark in June, the month of July has been a nightmare for them so far. After getting shellacked 11-3 by the Reds yesterday, the tomahawkers traveled to Baghdad By The Bay and got rocked 12-0 by the Giants.  Miracle "D" Milt Pappas ran out of magic while Gaylord Perry notched his fourth shutout for the Giants. He also tied Bill Hands for the league lead with 12 wins. 

The Goddess abhors violence. Get him!

Finally, despite all that your Impartial Goddess has done to keep violence out of the game, it exploded on the field at Dodger Stadium on Thursday. Wearing a Red Wings jersey with "Kocur" on the back, your Most Serene Goddess screamed "Hit him! Deck him!" while bouncing on her heels in, um, disapproval.  Here's what happened: in the top of the second, Tony Perez launched a long home run off of Don Drysdale to give the Reds a 2-0 lead. The Rhinelanders had beaten the Tinseltowners 7 out of 8 on the season,  and frustration was boiling on the Dodger side. Andy "The Human Bulk Store" Kosco stood in against Jim "Bones" Merritt, and was decked by a high and tight pitch that knocked his helmet off and left him sprawled in the dirt. As soon as he stopped seeing double, Andy saw red and charged the mound! (The first fight the Orsino Board has ever produced in three seasons.) Kosco rained punches in bulk on the dome of the Reds hurler, and it took Johnny Bench to throw Kosco off. Of course, by then the benches had emptied and the obligatory savage milling around was accomplished. Ump "Hell" Enkeller thumbed both combatants, and Kosco injured his hand on Merritt's face and will miss a week's action. He's the team's home run leader and will be missed.  

An rbi single can do wonders for your confidence!

When play resumed, Little Al Jackson had been retrieved from the Reds' luggage and sent in to pitch. He allowed Willie "Call me Joan" Crawford, who had run for the dismissed Mr. Kosco, to score, but then he hurled 4 frames of shutout ball, preserving the 2-1 lead. In the 4th inning, Don Drysdale plunked Reds flyhawk Bobby Tolan. Would Big D do that on purpose? Of course he would! And was he ejected, fined, lectured? No! This is 1969! He pitched on. In the 6th, the Dodgers finally tied it against reliever Clay Carroll when Willie Davis tripled and scored on Crawford's single. "Let's see Bette Davis do THAT!" said Crawford, preening at first base. The inning ended when Wes Parker belted a fly to left center. Ted Savage made the catch and hung on, but Pete Rose was bent in the collision and will miss a couple of games. 

"Wingy" has wings on his feet!

The Reds tied it in the top of the 7th when Wingy Whitfield singled, and Ted Savage doubled. With runners on second and third and one out, newly-summoned strikeout artist Jim Brewer fanned the lefty-swinging Tolan, just the way it was drawn up, but backstop Tom Haller let the ball squirt away! As he chased it down, Wingy came chugging across home plate to make it 3-2. Tolan was gunned down at first,  but the damage was done. No Matter. In the bottom of the inning, pinch hitter Len Gabrielson singled in pinch runner and Paul Schaal Award winner Billy Grabarkewitz to tie it again at 3.  Clay Carroll could only hang his head.  In the bottom of the 8th with two out against Wayne Granger, pesky Wes "Call me Fess" Parker singled in Manny Mota and that's the way it ended, 4-3, with lots of band-aids.

Bob Probert, chairman of the Goddess's new commission on preventing violence.

Chico Ruiz Offers Language Lessons: Monday, April 28th, 1969

Scores!

CHI 7, PHI 5 W-Hands 4-1 L-Wilson 1-2 S-Regan(5) HR-Santo(5) Joseph(1)

STL 2, PIT 1 (12inns) W-Hoerner 2-0 L-Dal Canton 1-1 

ATL 5, HOU 0 W-Reed 1-2 L-LeMaster 2-3 HR-T.Aaron(2)

LA 3, SD 2 W-Moeller 3-1 L-Roberts 1-3 S-Mikkelsen(4) HR-Colbert(2)

SF 3, CIN 2 W-McCormick 3-1 L-Merritt 1-3 S-Linzy(1) Reds turn 6 DPs!

He tomahawked it.

Since moving Ron Santo to clean-up instead of the still-homerless Ernie Banks, the Cubs have been scoring much better. They won a see-saw game against the plummeting Phils when Billy Wilson came on to cough up three late runs. Ric "Chief" Joseph, utility man and leader of the Nez Perce, launched a 3-run jack for the Quakers, but all in vain.

I am too lazy to go back through and find out, but I'd love to know how many games the Cardinals have won while scoring three or fewer runs. It's a bunch, I'm certain. The Redbirds continue to knock everybody else off the feeder, rising to 4-0 against the Buccos.

Ron Reed kicks and deals.

Ron Reed credits his first win of the season to sinking his free throws and executing the pick and roll. Teammate Tommie Aaron has already doubled his actual 1969 homer output.  He urges big brother Henry to "watch and learn!"

Your Goddess, looking an awful lot like actress Lou Doillon, declares her impartiality.

When the Padres had the nerve to show some life against the Dodgers, Walter Alston looked up from perusing the rest home's lunch menu and summoned Jim Brewer. However, Mr. Brewer allowed the bases to become loaded with Men of God and so Walter had to reluctantly go to Pete Mikkelsen again. The exhausted Mr. Mikkelsen promptly fanned an overmatched Jerry DaVanon to seal it for the Tinseltown nine as your impartial Goddess tore up her program and sighed.

Exchanging pleasantries and rotting on the bench are Chico's specialties!

In San Francisco, the Reds turned an incredible 6 double plays in 8 innings, but still lost to the Gints, 3-2. Mike McCormick staked himself to a 2-0 lead early with a 2-run triple. The Giants added a seemingly meaningless run in the 8th off of Clay Carroll, but needed it when the Reds rallied in the 9th. A 2-run single by Tony Perez made it 3-2 and chased Mr. McCormick, who went to rearrange his spice rack as Frank "Old Kerosene" Linzy came on to face pinch hitter Chico Ruiz, batting for Woody Woodward. Plate umpire "Hell" Enkeller called Ruiz out on a pitch that appeared to be well out of the zone to end the game. Chico went cuckoo and was ceremonially tossed, even though the contest had ended. Speaking to reporters after the game, he assured them that "pendejo" is Spanish for "my friend" and that he had no idea why he was ejected. Chico F***king Ruiz, you rascal!